Thursday, March 1, 2012


For some reason, 31 is coming at me much harder than 30 did.  There just seem to be more changes in my life this year that are screaming at me "LIFE IS MOVING!  Jump on and start enjoying the ride!"

Miss A turned 13 and that has been tough.  In reality, she's had the teenage mindframe for about 8 months but I think that is pretty common.  I remember in the 2 months before she started 6th grade I relented and got her an American Girl doll.  I didn't really want to buy it because I knew the stage was coming to a close but it was one of those moments where I just didn't feel like telling her No...again.  One comment I made was "I better not see this doll on the floor or in the closet in 6 months!".  While its not on the floor or in the closet, I don't think I've seen it in awhile. 

I've also been staring at the Insanity DVDs for over a week now.  I had all the plans in the world to start it last Monday but for some reason God or Life or Kharma (however you wanna look at it) decided that I needed to swerve a little bit and I haven't quite straightened my wheels out.  But I WILL start the program.  I was so excited to get it and while I don't think I can get even close to their pace(like somebody else's 10 ft pole close is about where I'm at) its all moves that I loved loved loved doing last year when I was able to see a trainor at the gym.  I just haven't made the decision on whether or not to show my 31 year old body to the world.  I want that t-shirt for sure (when I've earned it!) so I'll definitely be taking pictures but I don't know.  Maybe I'll use it as incentive to keep at it?  Once I can say "Yeah, that was me then, this is me NOW!" it won't be so bad to share it with everyone. At least, that's what she said. ;~)

I am thiiiiis close to also trying to figure out where I'm going with my next 29 years.  Medical research just keeps jumping out at me and the goings on in my life right now seem to be pointing me in that direction too.  It sure is a lot of science...and by that I mean a weekly 3 hour friggin lab on top of going to lecture for 3 hours.  But if I can make the grades and discover how to help others it will be worth it in the end.  Right?

All and all, I just hope when I am sitting somewhere typing my blog next March 1, is that my life is in a better place than this.  I really really really dislike (trying to practice what I preach and not say hate) not knowing what is going on or feeling like I have no control.  Especially the no control.  The saying "Give it God" is probably the hardest for me to follow.  Because if I'm not the one getting it done, how can I be certain it gets done?  Or gets done the way I like it?  I know He has plan and I'm just too close to see it right now but still.  Why give us free will and then not be more free with the plan?!  Don't you know that us control freaks need that information?!  And that without it we go just a leeetle bit crazy?! Seriously!?!?!!  Okay...sorry...I'll go over hear and smell the rainbow poop for a minute and be better.  Cause what doesn't smell better than sparkley colorful shit?