Monday, December 20, 2010

Just stuff

This post is all about randomness.  Cause guess what?  By choosing to click on my link or visit me cause you follow me (all two of you, lol) you've entered that wonderful little part of the universe called Jessica World!  And in Jessica World, some of the things that are being thought about are:
  1. Before an email/text telling about the latest onion cure, missing child or picture of an alien is sent, you do a real quick Internet check for hoaxes.  In Jessica World, we always look out for wastes of time...unless of course the forward is just too ridiculous to share and then you send it on with a statement of such.
  2. If at all possible, all grammatical errors, misspellings and the like are removed from text messages, status, twats or whatever you are sending out.  Short and sweet abbreviations are fine but honey listen.  If you are using all the characters given to you in said communication, then please PLEASE (capped for emphasis, not because I was too lazy to retype because I had the caps lock on) edit your stuff.  Drunk texting is not included because damn it, its a friggin touch screen and sometimes I hit the wrong letter...OKAY
  3. All encompassing statements about families and/or general populations are not made (My family sucks, I hate everybody, All blondes with pixie cuts are bitches) because they are just not true.  Many of the "my family sucks or screwed me over" statements happen to include ME in it and honestly, I didn't.  And if I did, you deserved it (just kidding cause most of the time I'm too busy in my own life to really bother with yours past reading your status on Facebook.)
  4. Facebook drama would not exist.  Really.  Its Facebook.  Its a place to mindlessly send your thoughts out into the world, let family and friends who live far away have a glimpse into your fabulous life that they are missing or the chance for that crazy person down the street to stalk you cause you're  a dummy who sets your profile to private but didn't take the time to go in and adjust your picture settings (and yes the first time I typed in "your" instead of "you're" but I went in and edited, see Jessica World is a wondrous place.  I'll also use spell check)
Hmm...I can not believe I am drawing a blank.  Perhaps its the dogs whimpering behind me because the girls are not letting them play, but I think I'm done with this post.  Maybe I'll be in a jollier mood later on and do a run down of things to do in the next 24-72 hours...then again maybe not.

Lator Gator for Now!

Friday, December 10, 2010

Remember remember the 10th of December

Well, I don't really have anything to remember about the 10th of December.  I just like to chant that rhyme.  I'm random like that.  Know it, own it, love it....hmmm that might make a good t-shirt!  I've been on a t-shirt kick ever since I saw the "Use You Words" tee at the Merriam Webster site.  Then I went a-browsing at http://www.cafepress.com/ and saw all kinds of awesome designs.  But seriously...$34?  Are they CRAZY? 

Speaking of crazy...I just borrowed my neighbor's sewing machine.  I'm going to give it a try at converting some of our pants into skinny ones.  Miss A has several that she doesn't wear because they're not "skinny jeans".  She obvisiously hasn't seen the price difference between the skinny jean and the boot cut.  Again, they must be crazy cause there is less fabric on the skinny jean.  But whatevs. 

This weekend is looking like some fun.  Tonight A is going to an indoor swim party and I'm going to do some more shopping.  We're doing some science fair Saturday morning then going to Neiman's with MIL that afternoon to check out the Christmas display.  Then on Sunday our best friend family is coming over to decorate cookies and also to kick our butts if we don't have our Christmas decoration done.  I'm hoping having the pathetic four foot pre-lit disaster that my DH is making me use up counts.  Cause thats about as far as we got last night.  I am so not into it this year and just looking at that tree makes me want to just chuck it and let everyone wake up to a pile of stuff in the middle of the floor that Saturday morning.  I feel that this is a good plan because:
A. Nothing wrapped- Not wasting paper, bows or tape (good for the environment and my stress level)
2. No mess on Christmas morning (See A above)
C- Less electricity because we don't have the lights and stuff on all the time.  Which leads to
4. We might actually have some $$$ left over

Now if this were Jessica world (the world of farting unicorns and six-pack producing cookies) this would happen.  But since I have to live in Aleisa world, the tree (pathetic though it is) will get decorated, the gifts will be wrapped and all will be right in the world cause my heart grew 2 sizes just typing this...not

LGFN!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Beauty and the...well just me

Now, this little slice of the internets is my world.  And since its my world, I can make anything I want be true.  Like, unicorns farting butterflys.  Or eating an entire batch of chocolate chip cookies is good for you and promotes six packed stomachs.  But in this one instance I'll just stick to the truth in reality.

And that truth is, I am so not a girly, high maintenance kind of girl.  In the last few years I've tried to become one, but my success rate is limited to those rare nights I am together with other adults.  Most of the time I am doing good to get dressed, much less fix my hair and put make-up on.  But here lately I've been trying harder.  Ok, I'm not going to fib its because four days a week I do leave the house to go to class.  Its difficult to convince others that you are a brilliant and witty person if you look like you just rolled out of bed.

I'm digressing again.  My daughter convinced me I really should get some boots (Mom, you can just slide them on!  Just like your Nikes but these will be cute!).  So I did.  Let me tell you, it was kind of difficult to find.  While I am shrinking I'm still a big chick with fat calves and I'm not trying to look like I have sausages above my shoes.  I finally found a pair of boots that were perfect!  Tall enough to tuck pants into but short enough that if I need to wear them under I can.  Only thing is the heel was difficult so I ended up getting a half size bigger.  They weren't a big deal getting on at the store with the little pantyhose things they give you so I happily brought them home.  Fast forward to trying to wear them in the real world.  Normal socks don't slip like pantyhose.  And I don't think your foot is meant to straighten to the angle necessary to get these things on with regular socks.  But, at least I'll burn an extra 25 calories every time I wrestle these things on.

Now that I have boots I needed some pants to go with them.  I follow the Stacy and Clinton Bible and try to always get straight leg or boot cut pants, to elooongate and give my body the illusion of length (again, this is MY reality lol).  Or some bs like that.  Those don't tuck all that great into boots though.  So I bit my lip and bought some of these skinny leg jeans things.  They were on the clearance at Target, so no biggie.  They're the right size so I just grab them and go (I hate trying things on at Target, I always feel like someone is watching.  Granted they look away quickly when its me but still...well if I take my top off they'd probably keep looking in awe cause the tatas are definitely a sight to behold as they are ginormous but I'm digressing again, lol)  So I get them home and hang them.  Today I decide that I should get dressed, cause I need to go to class and go get my tire fixed.  I slide them on and as they go up my leg they are sticking to them.  These things are tight!  Not "Oh dear Lord I can't breathe, somebody get me some pliers or a hanger to pull the zipper up" tight, but see above.  My pants legs don't touch the skin all the way down.  Fashionable or not, this could take some getting used to.  Maybe I should buy the pajamajeans....

I just don't know if I can do this.  Its bad enough  that I have a flat iron and more than 2 shades of lipstick now.  Not to mention some great jewelry that I can use to dress up that standard t-shirt.  Having to stuff my pants into shoes?  I hated doing that when I was a kid, why am I doing it now?  One word-ALEISA, lol

LGFN!