Wednesday, March 11, 2015

New Chapter

This year I celebrated my 34th birthday.  My daughter is now 16 years old and Lance and I will soon be celebrating our 14th wedding anniversary.  Through all of this, my Mom and Dad have been my rock and my foundation.  I would not be the person I am today had it not been for their guidance and values, pushing me to be the best I could, always give 100%, and depend on no one but myself.  Of course, I always knew that they were there behind me, arms outstretched to catch me if I needed it.  But because of them, it has always been a sense of pride to know that I needed that catch seldom.  I strive to pass that sense of determination and independence on to Aleisa, so that she can walk out into the world as a confident adult.

For those who don't know, my Dad is not my biological father.  Yes, it's an odd thing given that we do look alike and there are members of his family that you would swear that Aleisa looks just like them (Kristin's boys and Aleisa could be brother and sister).  But my Dad didn't come into my life until I was about 6 months old and he adopted me when I was 2.  This is something I've known for most of my life and it is what it is.  I knew my biological father's name, some of his history (his Mom lived in Chicago), and what he did when he and my Mom met.  There hadn't been a real need for anything more, except just that unknown hole and the unanswered questions.  It's something that, unless you've experienced it, most people don't get.  Most of you can look in the mirror and you know where your nose came from.  Most of the time it only popped into my mind when I had to fill out new medical history forms or in talking about family heritage.  I would toss around the idea of finding him but it wasn't anything serious.  But as you age you start thinking about the bigger things and maybe what you're missing out on.  I'm an only child but do I have brothers or sisters out there?  Are there a group of kids who don't know what they're missing because Aleisa isn't their cousin?

In November my Mom called me one morning and said "Well...I found Jerry last night on Facebook."  That one sentence pretty much changed the rest of story that is my life.  We talked and we sat on the information for about a week.  Then Mom called me at work during her lunch break and said she'd talked to Jerry on the phone and he'd love to talk to me too.  In one phone conversation I gained two sisters, a brother, and some of the cutest nieces and nephews to go along with the awesome ones provided by Lance and all of the ones who call me AJ because I just love them so much.

It has been a surreal journey for the last few months.  I've hit on pretty much every emotion you can think of.  Happiness because I feel complete, knowing I can answer a lot of questions.  Guilty because I didn't want to hurt my Dad.  Angry because I'd waited so long and Jerry missed out not only on me but on the fantasticness that is Aleisa.  Weirded out because, well, it's weird.  How do you do this?  How do you introduce yourself to the biological other half of you?  What do you call them?  Excited because now there are just more of you, more people to love and who love you in return.

We are super excited because next week Jerry and his wife Susan are flying to Texas to visit with us for a few days.  Our new chapter will get some awesome new pages!


  1. Oh my gosh!!! I am so excited for you. I think about you and your story oftentimes, especially when I see a post on your page from your "new" family. I can't wait to hear about you guys' visit!!! Keep us posted, please. - Christi Rene